This is a great article and some excellent advice! Sure you instilled a bit of abject fear about my kids needing this article someday, but hey, at least the information is out there!
How I Traveled With My Elderly Parents...and lived to tell
My parents - Merv, 86, and Renee, 81 - have had a rough time of it lately. He has fallen a few times; she has had fairly frequent memory lapses. They can walk, but often very s-l-o-w-l-y. So I thought they'd enjoy a four-day trip to California with my wife, Liz, and me visiting one of our sons, Will, a freshman at college. But could they manage it? Could I?
Planning the Vacation
The biggest concern Liz and I had about the trip was whether my parents could manage getting around USC. Liz insisted I reserve golf carts or wheelchairs for every moment we'd be on campus. I agreed to investigate.
After visiting the USC Web site to see whether it was possible to reserve a wheelchair or cart, I discovered the answer was: Maybe. USC, like many colleges, has a program that lets its disabled students and staff schedule free campus pickups and drop offs. I assumed a heartfelt plea to the transportation office would give us special dispensation and crossed my fingers.
Day 1
What I hadn't thought about was getting my parents through Newark Airport. Because my mother's hip replacement set off the Homeland Security alarms, she had to undergo a full-body wanding. Then, because she was slightly confused getting onto the plane and no attendants were greeting boarding passengers, my mother nearly walked through the opposing open door when they were loading on the "light snack." Fortunately, a food-service guy stopped her.
Upon arriving in L.A., we encountered our next hurdle: the search for distilled water. My father has sleep apnea and uses a CPAP machine. This meant buying distilled water for the device once we arrived. How hard could that be? L.A.! Land of all things pure and natural. Except, it turns out, in the rough neighborhoods around USC. The nearest market didn't sell distilled water and the Rite-Aid had just closed at 9 pm. So we sped off before the threatening-looking characters in the pharmacy lot could surround our car. (We returned to Rite Aid in daylight on Friday and bought the distilled water - unharmed.)
Day 2
I had booked a 2 p.m. tour of the School of Cinematic Arts buildings. Now the question was: how could my parents get from the hotel to the tour? I called the USC Transportation Department and the woman explained that the carts were for students and staff. But I begged: My parents are in their 80s…they came to see their grandson…She reluctantly agreed to get us a cart.
Day 3
This could've been the toughest day of all: no golf carts (the service isn't available on weekends). Here's where I need to give my parents credit. Without complaining, they agreed to walk the campus with their canes. We enjoyed spending the day meandering around USC in small steps - literally. I made time for my parents to take an afternoon nap back at the hotel before. After that, we walked most of the length of the campus to see a student production of "Brigadoon" and walked back before driving to dinner.
Day 4
By this point, Liz and I were congratulating ourselves and silently thinking: nobody fell! Over a late dinner at a local New Jersey diner, we were treated to the best moment of all: My parents thanked us for giving them such a special time with their grandson. After we dropped them off, I had only one thought: when we could all visit our son, Aaron, at Northwestern?
5 Tips For Traveling With Your Parents
Keep these in mind before making a trip with your elderly mother and father:
- Research getting around before you go. You might be able to reserve wheelchairs or a golf cart for use at your destination. But if you can't, come up with a Plan B.
- Book flights that don't leave too early. Although it's generally wise to fly first thing in the morning (if the plane is cancelled, you'll get on later one), this isn't the case when traveling with your parents. They'll need extra time in the morning.
- Be sure their medication is in a carry-on bag. Luggage can get lost or stolen. You don't want your parents to be without their essential meds.
- Plan moments, not days. Devise ways to do things that take an hour or two, not all-day ventures.
- Make time for naps. Your parents might not tell you that they're tired. But if you give them a chance to rest, they'll be glad you did.
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